First off, I have to pay my tribute to my country's veterns. Thank you so much for your courage and strength and devotion to keeping me safe. I owe you so much; we all do. God bless.

And now, on to other things... like the fact that there's only one and half months left 'til Christmas! Veterns' Day always means one thing to me: the start of the holiday season! So, yeah, I'm excited about that. I've already started my annual binge on all things Christmas. I'm blasting Christmas music, reading Christmas books, drinking Christmas teas from Celestial Seasonings (Sugar Cookie Sleigh Ride is ah-mazing!), doodling Christmas stars, trees, and presents in the margins of my notes at school... and yeah. All that.

ED's going well, too. I'm going to try and stop calorie counting as of tomorrow. I've tried this several times before, and it usually leds to major restriction and/or nervous breakdowns... but I've been doing so good... I really want to be normal for the holiday season, you know? Want it so bad.

But something I want even more... Cheyenne. Been a while since you guys' heard that name, hmm? God, I miss her like hell right now. Been reduced to tears a couple times this week. Probably partially or in whole because of my Christmasness... its hard for me to fill myself with all that love for God without remembering and aching for a bit of the love I once felt from a very special horse. Its been almost 17 months since I've touched her. If I could just touch her... or see her just once...

Anyways. Enough of that. Don't need more waterworks. I miss riding so damn much, too. I haven't ridden since mid-March. Months ago. And I won't be able to until March of NEXT YEAR. Ugh. I pulled out some pictures while cleaning my room the other day, of me riding, and I wanted to ride again so bad it gave me a bellyache. Just watching myself perched on the back of this beautiful horse named Louie (I rode him in Florida a couple years ago) cantering around and jumping... it actually hurt.

HOW DID THIS JOLLY CHRISTMAS JOURNAL TURN INTO A BELLYACHING SESSION? lol. Okay, I won't bore you with my life any further. Feel free to carry on. Bye ya'll.