First off, I have to pay my tribute to my country's veterns. Thank you so much for your courage and strength and devotion to keeping me safe. I owe you so much; we all do. God bless.

And now, on to other things... like the fact that there's only one and half months left 'til Christmas! Veterns' Day always means one thing to me: the start of the holiday season! So, yeah, I'm excited about that. I've already started my annual binge on all things Christmas. I'm blasting Christmas music, reading Christmas books, drinking Christmas teas from Celestial Seasonings (Sugar Cookie Sleigh Ride is ah-mazing!), doodling Christmas stars, trees, and presents in the margins of my notes at school... and yeah. All that.

ED's going well, too. I'm going to try and stop calorie counting as of tomorrow. I've tried this several times before, and it usually leds to major restriction and/or nervous breakdowns... but I've been doing so good... I really want to be normal for the holiday season, you know? Want it so bad.

But something I want even more... Cheyenne. Been a while since you guys' heard that name, hmm? God, I miss her like hell right now. Been reduced to tears a couple times this week. Probably partially or in whole because of my Christmasness... its hard for me to fill myself with all that love for God without remembering and aching for a bit of the love I once felt from a very special horse. Its been almost 17 months since I've touched her. If I could just touch her... or see her just once...

Anyways. Enough of that. Don't need more waterworks. I miss riding so damn much, too. I haven't ridden since mid-March. Months ago. And I won't be able to until March of NEXT YEAR. Ugh. I pulled out some pictures while cleaning my room the other day, of me riding, and I wanted to ride again so bad it gave me a bellyache. Just watching myself perched on the back of this beautiful horse named Louie (I rode him in Florida a couple years ago) cantering around and jumping... it actually hurt.

HOW DID THIS JOLLY CHRISTMAS JOURNAL TURN INTO A BELLYACHING SESSION? lol. Okay, I won't bore you with my life any further. Feel free to carry on. Bye ya'll.

Happy Halloween!

Things have been going really good lately. I feel like I finally have gotten a secure handle on my ED. Not only am I eating more, but I'm actually relaxing a little bit around food. The obsessive tendencies are starting to fade a teensy bit. Last night, I had two pieces of candy. Without panicking, without guilt. That's freakin' AMAZING.

Sorry. Done patting myself on the back. Oh, wait--not quite. I had a great and awesomely epic run this morning. I love getting up early on Saturdays and taking that morning run. It just makes me feel so peaceful and relaxed. And I ran a half a mile farther, while still going faster, than I usually do.

Now, real quick, I got to brag on my little brother. His little league time kicks butt! Won every single game this season! The championship is actually going on right now--but I'm a bad big sister and skipped. But I went to every other game, so he didn't mind. I hope they win! He plays second base, and he's awesome at it. And center field, sometimes. He's one of the best players! Him, Matthew (the pitcher), and Austin (first baseman) are the stars. I'm so proud of him!

Okay. Reallly, I'm done boasting now.

So, yeah... awesome things are happening in my life. God's amazing like that.

And, to top off my perfectly blissful day, the sun is peeking out! Thunderstorms were forecasted all day today, and it was misting when I was running this morning, but gradually the clouds have been receding... hopefully we'll have a dry Halloween! I'm taking the kids out trick-or-treating with a couple of the other older sisters on the block. Should be fun!

Anyways. I'm off to try and download Zoo Tycoon 2 on this computer, since I've been wanting to play that for a while. While its doing that, I might as well get the other half of my ab work done... okay, one more quick little boast: I got a four-pack! I've worked so hard for it, so I just had to tell you guys!

OMG LOOK AT ALL THAT SUNLIGHT THAT JUST STREAMED THROUGH THE WINDOW!

Life's an awesome thing, you guys know that?

Is it weird that I actually like the smell of tea better than the taste? I mean, I made this tea and I've had it sitting here for the past 20 minutes, working on my now-happily-empty inbox, with it under my nose, just sniffing it. Its peppermint. Yumm...

Anyways. Now that I'm running regularly, I've decided to do a 5K. Its the Pumpkin Run at the local YMCA. October... 27th? Its a Saturday, I know that much. And if that goes well, I'm going to do the Sleigh Bell Trot at Saluda Shoals Park on November 24th. Also a 5K; in case you're interested, 5 kilometers is 3.1 miles. So that should be fun... I've been running a lot more, and I can really tell. I didn't run today, just biked for about half an hour, but my legs were still sore from yesterday. And I've noticed an increase in my appetite, which is good.

On another note, chemistry makes my head hurt. Specifically, stiochiometry makes my head hurt. I'm starting to think that seven step conversion equations are some sort of punishment rained down from Heaven. They just... hurt. Ugh. But on the plus side, I got all A's and only two B's on my interim report. And that includes a 100 in Algebra II. Yeah, that's right, go me.

My mother's bothering me. She's asking me why I'm posting things about my life on the computer and telling me that I'll regret it later. I'm just like... what the hell? Why would I regret it? I don't understand why she doesn't understand. Its not like I'm telling you guys anything important, anyways. Or that I'll ever meet any of you in real life. She irks me sometimes.

Anyways. That's about it. As you can probably tell, I'm a bit tired... stretched out, you know? My daily routine is wearing on me. I wake up a 6:30AM, get dressed and ready and downstairs by 7:00AM, make my lunch and eat breakfast and get to the bus by 7:40AM, school, get home at 4:10PM, have my snack, do homework until around 6:00PM, workout, shower, have dinner by 8:00PM, get on the computer and do crap, and then bed by 9:45PM. Its tedious after awhile.

So, yesterday our little town had its 36th annual fall festival, the Okra Strut. Yep. I'm being completely serious. In my little South Carolina town, we have a festival each year in honor of everyone's favorite, beautiful, green, slightly slimy veggie: OKRA! Actually, you know what, okra's good. And the Okra Strut is fun. Even though it started raining halfway through the parade. But it was only a drizzle, so the fun continued on! After the parade they had shop vendors and live music and dance entertainment from local artists and studios. And, of course, "Okryland" kids' carnival. But one little boy threw up in the bouncy house. Guess he ate too much fried okra!

But, I swear, each year the Okra Strut gives the weather permission to start turning into fall. I'm serious. Last night, I went to bed and everything was wet and green. This afternoon, I'm taking a walk around my grandparent's subdivision, and I notice that the tips of almost every tree are turning reddish. Not that I'm complainin', of course! Lets hope fall's here to stay this time!

But anyway. It was an awesome weekend. Not only fun, but really productive. Lots of good workouts. (seriously, I think I've done four separate ones of at least 20 min each in the last three days!) And I'm on top of all my schoolwork. Yep, right now, things are looking pretty good. A lot better than they have in a while, at least...

God, I'm missing Chey like crazy for the past week or so...

Yep. It is most definitly not the end of summer. Its been hot and muggy the past couple weeks--perfectly UGLY.

Sorry for the inactivity. I've been so busy. I've had tests in all my classes, some of them twice now, plus projects. I managed to stay in the A/B range for all of them! I even got a 101 on my first Algebra II test! Usually math is my worst subject, but I happened to get a good family friend as my teacher this year and I love him a lot, so maybe that's helped. I have a 100 average in that class for first interim!

Anyways. That's about it. I just finished showering after my Saturday morning run and physical therapy session. I'm eating a lovely, autumn-inspired breakfast--simply because I can't wait for fall anymore! Its pumpkin pie in a bowl. Mix 1/2 cup plain yogurt with 1/2 cup pure pumpkin, lots of cinnamon, sprinkle of nutmeg and cloves, and Splenda. Add 1/2 cup Fiber One Original cereal for the "crust" and then a spoonful of Peanut Butter & Co.'s Cinnamon Raisin Swirl peanut butter. Perfect fall breakfast!

Hah. I'm just remembering the days when "breakfast" was a bowl of Special K or a Poptart or something. How stupid was I then? Eating disgusting, processed, sugary, low-fiber, low-protein... you get the point. I'm starting to annoy my friends. In trying to recover from my ED, I've become a health-food junkie. You should see our fridge (well, not right now, its really empty because tomorrow's grocery day). I'm all about fresh and organic now, even though its more expensive. It really is important! I actually have a hard time watching anybody eating anything bad now, much less eating it myself... school lunch is torture. Watching my friends down french fries and ice cream and burgers and pizza and chips everyday without any fresh veggies or fruit or a second thought to what its doing to their health has nearly brought me to tears several times. I know, that's weird. But its a trigger. Its part of the ED. By the way, recovery's going slow and steady. I'm up to about 1000cal a day... okay, more like 900-950cal. I accidentally made my mum cry last night... I told her I was probably going to get the swine flu (since my best friend's entire family got it and I've been hanging out with her a lot lately), and she said that if I do, I'm going to die. I highly doubt that, but I hate it that she takes my own problem so personally. I want her to stop worrying.

Wow. That turned into a rant. Sorry. Had to get it off my chest.

That's enough updates for one post, I think. I have to go shingle my grandparent's roof now. Wow, that sounds weird even to me. But seriously, they got an addition and the guy didn't do it, so that responsibilty falls to me! Only I have little to no idea about how to go about shingling a roof...